Final Blog

Overall, I enjoyed blogging. Usually when professors want a blog, they assign you a subject and have strict guidelines about what they want you to write. It’s not personal or creative. Nothing about it says “you” except maybe the fact that you wrote it. It’s more so an online document. This blog gave me the chance to think internally, deeply, about things I had never thought about before. It also gave me the chance to express my opinion on a few things I had never talked about. In this way, I did feel the “Iggy filter”. In terms of faith, I think I’m right in the middle. I’m sure of a few things but I need to find time and mental space to explore all of my beliefs at their very essence and core. Maybe a retreat! (hahaha)

The hardest blog to answer in my opinion was “Indulgences”. I try not to think about my weaknesses. I almost kind of keep them at bay because I want to bring out the best in me and not be so negative. That resulted in me just typing, going on a rant because it was probably the best way to get it out. I couldn’t focus on what I was saying. I understand but I felt that this particular weakness would be hard to convey to an audience.

 The easiest blog is definitely “Why This Guy Hates the Church, Not Religion, And Loves Jesus”. I love debate/ picking apart people’s arguments.

 As much as I like the blogs, I don’t know if my thoughts could be so easily provoked on their own. This is probably why I could never keep a consistent journal/diary when I was younger. It was fun while it lasted and gave me a nice break from some of my other work to focus on me.

At 40

At 40, I plan to wake up early before work. I’m still not a morning person but I get up anyway because it’s probably one of the only times I have to myself to think, let alone to work out. I go running and the runner’s high I’m on afterwards makes me wonder why I hated to run so much when I was younger.

 I shower and then wake up my husband and my two teenage daughters if they still aren’t up for school. I let out the dogs and fix breakfast. I’m proud because I have my overall dream. Everything’s ok. I have the relationships, the things I created that I love and love me back.

 I return to my room to get dressed. I stop in the mirror and give myself the once over. Not bad. In better shape than most moms I know. I miss my 20-year-old body but hey, I’m not 20 now am I? I put on my business suit and leave for the PR agency I’ve worked at for the last 10 years. I’ve been really excited about meeting the new clients. It never gets old.

 After a long day at work, I return home. Thankfully, dinner is already cooked. Mmmmm chicken parmesan. I see I have a message from Tanya, my sorority sister. I have to call her and give her the ”tea” of my life. And Ken, my best friend. Jeez, it feels like I never have enough time to just catch up with any one any more. I think it’s time for another trip to New Orleans. Being in Chicago makes me feel so detached sometimes.

 I walk upstairs and hear the girls laughing, one at the television show, the other on the phone with a friend. I think about when I was their age, thirteen/ fourteenish. And then I wonder if they’ve been telling me everything. I know I didn’t with my parents. Do they feel comfortable telling me? I’d rather hear about their woes than learn of their mistakes from someone else.

 I go into my office with a cup of tea and to read before I go to bed. I’ve really gotten into this book club thing. Ooh! And game night’s on Friday! Maybe I can unplug my children and get them to go and actually be in the presence of human and not shiny screens.

My Jesuit Education

My education has proven to be Jesuit mainly through the value of appreciating things great and small. When you get to college, you’re a little bit less of a kid. You begin to think and see social issues and take a stance. You begin to make commitments and decisions that affect your whole life, whether you know it at the moment or not. This includes your career. At Loyola, I’ve thought about what I could do and enjoy for the rest of my life and how it would make a difference.

I chose Mass Communication with a sequence in Public Relations and a minor in English. Originally, my track was Journalism. I liked to write, but since I can’t always turn my creative thinking on and off I decided to write about facts. I took Beginning Reporting and while I always seemed to come out with good stories I didn’t like the hassle and stress of getting the stories. I would have lost my mind by 30 years old. But I still liked the idea of writing and media input. I decided to try public relations.

Although switching concentrations is as easy as just saying so and scribbling your choice down on a piece of paper, it’s a big decision. You transfer from potentially working with a periodical to working for a client or agency. You make the transition from investigation to binding the public to the information you have to offer.

And it’s more than just covering for the person you represent when they goof off. You must look at yourself and know what you and your client stand for. You must take steps to ensure that you properly relay the message of the person you represent. You are keeping in mind the interest of an intricate entity besides yourself. It may be “just a career” of jargon and persuasion to some but the smallest details make the biggest deals. This is my Jesuit education.

Spiritual Exercises

Week 1: Self Evaluation, Acceptance of God's love
I think this week is a reminder that you are God's child and you have the freedom to accept his love. It's innocent and like the child, no matter how bad it gets, your father, God, will still love you.

Week 2: Call of the King
Deciding who you would follow in life. You always pick someone who is greater than you to follow. It is cyclical because soon you become great and people follow you. You can learn from the person you follow as well as yourself. It leads to decisions that make a bigger, better person.

Week 3: Week of the Cross
The court is a room of decision making. It balances the scales life and is the room of consequence for tough decisions to be made in life, whether it be by the judge or the criminal. In life we are the judge and the criminal.

Week 4
Hope of God
I believe the last week of the exercises is realizing that the best is yet to come. The future gives the opportunity to love, share, and enjoy.

Open My Heart

A song that symbolizes Ignatian themes is Open My Heart by Yolanda Adams. It is a gospel song that presents a person who has an important decision to make but doesn’t t know what to do. Therefore, she turns to God. She opens her heart to Him, to God’s will. For these reasons, the song reminds me of the presuppositions and Rules of Discernment.

First off, she has made time for reflection despite the pressures of her situation. She looks for a good spirit to guide her. This covers the first two presuppositions of making time for reflection and understanding the spirit that is leading you.

The lyrics state:
Alone in a room
It's just me and you
I feel so lost
Cause I don't know what to do
Now what if choose the wrong thing to do
I'm so afraid, afraid of disappointing you
So I need to talk to you
And ask you for your guidance
Especially today
When my world seems cloudy
Guide me until I'm sure
I open up my heart

Not only has she made this time, but she also wants to make the decision between just her and God. She opens up her heart, creating room for guidance and releasing her own emotions so she won’t get caught up in them (presups 4 & 5)

Along the lines of the Rules of Discernment, she has followed Rule 1, clearing her head and making time for prayer. Rule 2 is iffy but with the results of the song I trust that she has gathered good information and weighed her options. Nevertheless, the follows her heart and takes the direction in which God leads her, following Rule 3.

Later on the lyrics state:
So show me how
To do things your way
Don't let me make the same mistakes
Over and over again
Your will be done
And I'll be the one
To make sure the it's carried out
And in me, I don't want any doubt
That's why

I need to talk to you
And ask you for your guidance
Especially today
When my life is a little bit cloudy
Guide me until I'm sure
I open up my heart


These lyrics cover Rules 4 & 5, she tells God (generally) that she will do his will and trust him. She will not doubt herself or Him. She has trusted and had faith God and relied on his overall friendship.

Feel free to listen here.

Indulgence

I’ve never been monetarily rich. But I have always lived comfortably. I don’t think I’ve ever been to the point where I’ve seen my parents openly struggle to pay bills or buy the things they want.

I don’t necessarily plan to be rich either. Sometimes I see expensive designer items like purses and shoes and I think, “When I get older, I’m going to have something like that.” But I don’t know where life will take me or how much money I will make. I just know that I don’t want to struggle. I want to live comfortably.

I think I know the value of hard work. I know that there are rewards that come with work, including and not including money. It’s normal that after putting in a long day’s work you want to treat yourself. But sometimes I’m indulgent. I see that I’ve saved up a little and I want to spend it all. I forget that my money has plans. I forget that there are rainy days and I talk myself up to want to spend thinking, “Why not? You do so much more than other people.” And I have no idea who these other people are. I just want to spend and I feel like I have no control.

And then the rainy day comes.

Rainy day = some unknown responsibility or cost that just pops up. I may look my indulgence and not necessarily regret it because it brings me joy but I wish I had thought sooner. I feel throwed off when I struggle: financially, academically, emotionally, everything. I have to work the keep my concentration and my focus on my near future ambitions. Those ambitions may change over time but I have to learn to stop being so short-sighted.

For these reasons, my weaknesses are wealth and success.

My Gift

I believe that I have been given the gift of expression. With education, I believe that this gift has flourished. Honestly, I never noticed I had this gift until people began to tell me.

I was sitting in my ninth’s grade English class. Our “Do-Now” was to define revenge and also give our opinion on whether it is just. In giving my opinion on revenge, I found that there are so many exceptions and situations. There couldn’t be just one quick answer. So I didn’t write a quick answer. I read my answer aloud to the class. When our papers were returned with grades, I remember the teacher had written “Good! Very articulate.” Despite my abilities, I learned what
the word articulate meant that day.

There’s nothing like an educator to push you.

In eleventh grade, there was an MLK Poetry contest. It was open to high school students and the winner got a gift card to Borders along with some other things. Rediscovering my love for reading at the moment, I wanted that free gift card. I decided to enter. Our poems had to relate to how history, especially MLK’s time, was uplifting and capture the struggles of people through time.
I wrote “Greatness”

I’m a descendant of Greatness.
I’ve done nothing wrong.
So why must I fall?
Why can’t I soar? Is the sky not the limit?
Store my dreams in a basket and hope for deliverance.

I get to know the sweet side of royalty.
Smiling faces fooled glimmering eyes.
I burned the wrong bridges and lost the trustworthy.

Corruption, injustice.
The cursing, the fussing.
The law is on my side but I feel so alone.
Double agents cross me blindly as I’m stripped of my thrown.
My right hand man was on the inside and tore out what was left of me, courage and pride.
But is my hope everlasting?

My head is up.
But my spirits are low.
So I’ll go back to my roots and feel the earth through my toes.

Nothing to lose.
I have no more excuses.
I’ve grown to know my past, my history
And forgiven my abusers.

I am the face of up and coming opportunity.
I am greatness.

When I feel strongly about something, I write about it. When I know, I can share. I can express.