Indulgence

I’ve never been monetarily rich. But I have always lived comfortably. I don’t think I’ve ever been to the point where I’ve seen my parents openly struggle to pay bills or buy the things they want.

I don’t necessarily plan to be rich either. Sometimes I see expensive designer items like purses and shoes and I think, “When I get older, I’m going to have something like that.” But I don’t know where life will take me or how much money I will make. I just know that I don’t want to struggle. I want to live comfortably.

I think I know the value of hard work. I know that there are rewards that come with work, including and not including money. It’s normal that after putting in a long day’s work you want to treat yourself. But sometimes I’m indulgent. I see that I’ve saved up a little and I want to spend it all. I forget that my money has plans. I forget that there are rainy days and I talk myself up to want to spend thinking, “Why not? You do so much more than other people.” And I have no idea who these other people are. I just want to spend and I feel like I have no control.

And then the rainy day comes.

Rainy day = some unknown responsibility or cost that just pops up. I may look my indulgence and not necessarily regret it because it brings me joy but I wish I had thought sooner. I feel throwed off when I struggle: financially, academically, emotionally, everything. I have to work the keep my concentration and my focus on my near future ambitions. Those ambitions may change over time but I have to learn to stop being so short-sighted.

For these reasons, my weaknesses are wealth and success.