At 40

At 40, I plan to wake up early before work. I’m still not a morning person but I get up anyway because it’s probably one of the only times I have to myself to think, let alone to work out. I go running and the runner’s high I’m on afterwards makes me wonder why I hated to run so much when I was younger.

 I shower and then wake up my husband and my two teenage daughters if they still aren’t up for school. I let out the dogs and fix breakfast. I’m proud because I have my overall dream. Everything’s ok. I have the relationships, the things I created that I love and love me back.

 I return to my room to get dressed. I stop in the mirror and give myself the once over. Not bad. In better shape than most moms I know. I miss my 20-year-old body but hey, I’m not 20 now am I? I put on my business suit and leave for the PR agency I’ve worked at for the last 10 years. I’ve been really excited about meeting the new clients. It never gets old.

 After a long day at work, I return home. Thankfully, dinner is already cooked. Mmmmm chicken parmesan. I see I have a message from Tanya, my sorority sister. I have to call her and give her the ”tea” of my life. And Ken, my best friend. Jeez, it feels like I never have enough time to just catch up with any one any more. I think it’s time for another trip to New Orleans. Being in Chicago makes me feel so detached sometimes.

 I walk upstairs and hear the girls laughing, one at the television show, the other on the phone with a friend. I think about when I was their age, thirteen/ fourteenish. And then I wonder if they’ve been telling me everything. I know I didn’t with my parents. Do they feel comfortable telling me? I’d rather hear about their woes than learn of their mistakes from someone else.

 I go into my office with a cup of tea and to read before I go to bed. I’ve really gotten into this book club thing. Ooh! And game night’s on Friday! Maybe I can unplug my children and get them to go and actually be in the presence of human and not shiny screens.